Like Any Other Day
by HeyVT
Summary: Even though Colby's officially back, things around the office still aren't right. So what will it cost to fix them? Just one day… (Set after Episode 4.04, "Thirteen")
1. Trust

**LIKE ANY OTHER DAY**

Summary: Even though Colby's officially back, things around the office still aren't right. So what will it cost to fix them? Just one day... (Set after Episode 4.04, "Thirteen")

Major spoilers for the Janus List/Trust Metric storyline, minor spoilers for Velocity & Thirteen, but everything up through Thirteen is assumed, so fair warning.

Quotes are mainly from Trust Metric – a few tiny ones from Velocity, Thirteen, and Hollywood Homicide.

Nothing having to do with Numb3rs or the characters belongs to me.

Author's Note: This story is complete, but I'll be publishing it a chapter or two at a time. There are ten chapters total (although the last one is really an epilogue), and they do get longer (and then shorter again – it's a loosely chiastic structure if that means anything to you). Thank you to everyone who read "Make You a Deal" and asked for more writing – here it is. And thank you a million times over to anglojem, who was kind enough to read this first and give me her feedback. The only other thing you need to know is that this is my humble attempt to get the events surrounding Trust Metric out from under my skin, and I hope you enjoy it.

–H.

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE: Trust**

Special Agent Don Eppes spent the entire morning in the AD's office, engaging in what would've looked to a casual observer like an all-out verbal sparring match, broken up by phone calls and pacing. Never mind that he was supposed to be getting a handle on the massive amounts of paperwork that threatened to overwhelm his desk. Never mind that his team spent the whole morning shooting nervous glances at that same desk, too distracted to make any significant progress on their _own_ paperwork. Never mind that by the time he emerged, at 1:15pm, they were about ready to send in a search and rescue team after him. The look on his face stuffed even the most urgent questions – _Where the heck were you all morning, Don?_ – back in their throats before they even had a chance.

"All right, everybody, listen up. Hey, I said listen up!" Don's harsh voice brought the entire floor to a halt. "This is straight from the AD's office, so I don't wanna hear any flak, got it? You have _ten_ _minutes_ to clear this floor of all non-FBI personnel. You got people in interrogation, put 'em on a different floor or send 'em to lock-up. Everyone else, just get 'em outta here. If there's someone on your team who's on lunch, out of the building, whatever, call 'em and get 'em back here. I want the _entire floor _here in ten minutes. Your afternoon belongs to me, people – let's go!"

After a moment of slightly stunned silence, the floor erupted into chaos. Don turned to find David Sinclair frowning, Liz Warner staring at him – as if he'd suddenly gone insane – and Megan Reeves frozen in the act of exiting the nearest conference room. She was the first to recover.

"Don, what on earth?" Megan let the glass door swing closed behind her and slid towards him. "And where _were_ you all morning? With the AD? What is this all about?"

"Don, is there something goin' on we should know about?" David was still frowning.

Liz rubbed her forehead. "Clearing the floor, Don? I mean, was there some sort of terrorist attack, or what?"

"No, no, nothing like that." Don was clearly frustrated. "It has to do with Colby."

"Colby?" The voice came from behind them, in the direction of the conference room. "What about Colby?"

"Ah, hey, Charlie," Don said, turning to face his younger brother. "Amita, Larry – I didn't know you guys were here."

"Is everything okay, Don?" Charlie looked worried – Amita Ramanujan and Larry Fleinhardt only slightly less so. All three were clutching piles of papers and electronics, clearly gathered in a hurry.

"Yeah, Charlie, everything's fine." _Or it will be soon._ "We're just..." He sighed and gestured with one hand. "Look, you guys are already involved in this, and you all know Colby, so if you want to stay..."

"We'll stay, Don." It was Amita who spoke.

"Of course we'll stay," Charlie echoed. "It's Colby."

"I second that," Larry added. "Shall we, ah, resettle our things?"

"Yeah, you do that," Don answered grimly. "We still got eight minutes to go."

The three professors disappeared back into the conference room.

"What _about_ Colby, Don?" David's voice was wary. "I thought you said he was back on the team."

"He is." The finality in Don's tone didn't invite further questions.

Megan took another step towards him and lowered her voice. "Don..."

He shook his head. "You gotta let me do this, Reeves."

She sighed, softly, and closed her eyes. _Is this ever going to end?_

"I just want to get this behind us – behind _all_ of us," he defended. "That's all I'm tryin' to do here."

_What, are you a mind reader now?_ She looked at him.

"You gotta trust me, Megan. I need you to trust me. You too." His glance included David and Liz.

"We do trust you, Don." Megan gave him half a smile. "We're right there with you."

The other two nodded. "I'll, uh, go check that interrogation's clear," Liz said hesitantly.

"And I'll see who's still missing," David added.

"Good. Thanks." As Don watched them go, he felt a tiny bit of his frustration melt away. _"We're right there with you." Good thing. Don't think I could do this alone._


	2. Uncertainty

**CHAPTER TWO: Uncertainty**

Special Agent Colby Granger didn't know what to do with himself. It was only a few days since Don had officially accepted him back on the team, and less than a month after his near-death experience at the hands of the Chinese. Yet Don had pretty forcefully suggested – _ordered would be a better word_ – that he take the day off.

_"Go on, relax, go fishing or whatever it is you do for fun. I do __**not**__ want to see you in here tomorrow, Granger. You understand?"_

_What, you don't think I did enough relaxing lyin' around in the hospital for a whole week? Really? I don't wanna relax, I want to be __**doing **__something. Not sittin' around giving my brain all the time it needs to remember things I'd rather forget._

But he had accepted it with hardly a protest – he knew he was still on uncertain ground, and this was not a fight worth picking. Only now, wandering his small apartment aimlessly, he wished he had tried to convince Don to let him come in today. Finally he snatched up his keys and practically bolted out the door. _Driving has gotta be better than pacing, which is better than thinking, which is better than sleeping... yeah. Driving sounds like a good idea._

Somehow – he was never sure exactly how it happened – he found himself in the driveway of a familiar Craftsman home. _What the heck, Colby. What are you doin' here? Do you __**really**__ think..._ And then it was too late. Alan Eppes came around from the back of the house, recognized him, and waved. _Nothin' for it now._

"Hey, Mr. Eppes." He climbed out of the car and walked slowly up the driveway, hands shoved in his pockets, not really sure what else he was going to say.

"Hey Colby, it's good to see you." He shook Colby's hand heartily. "If you're looking for Charlie, he's not here."

"No, I'm, uh, not lookin' for Charlie." He stopped. _What am I supposed to say – that I have no idea why I showed up here?_

"Are you looking for Don? I thought he was at the office with you."

"Uh, no, I'm not lookin' for Don either. He, uh, he kinda gave me the day off." Colby was becoming miserably uncomfortable. _Why did I think this was a good idea? I should go..._

"A social visit, then!" Alan was genuinely pleased. "Well come in, come in – can I get you something to drink?"

"Mr. Eppes, I really don't want to bother you..." Colby reluctantly followed him inside the house.

"You're not bothering me, Colby, are you kidding me? I spend enough time alone while my two sons are off saving the world. Now, what can I get you? Coffee? Beer? Lemonade?"

"Uh, just... water, thanks."

"You sure you don't want to try the lemonade? I make it myself."

"All right, I guess I'll have to try the lemonade, then." Colby gave him a small grin.

"Right, two lemonades." Clearly satisfied with Colby's answer, Alan disappeared into the kitchen.

Colby looked around the dining room restlessly, trying to shake his nerves. He had felt like a live wire for so long – always keeping his guard up, always on edge. It was hard to come down from that, hard not to feel like his entire world could come crashing down around his ears at any moment. _Doesn't really help that that's exactly what happened._ But it was all done now. And things were finally going back to normal – _right, like I even know what "normal" is._

Colby's thoughts were interrupted as Alan returned with the lemonade, and he looked up, startled. Alan set both glasses on the table and frowned.

"Colby, son, do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" He wished fervently that his voice hadn't given out on the last word.

"Well obviously something's upsetting you. And I don't think it was an accident that you came by the house today. So why don't you just sit down and tell me about it?"

Drawing a long breath, Colby sat and pulled one of the glasses towards him. He took a drink, then stared at the glass, as if it could tell him where to begin.


	3. Explanation

Dear friends, thanks for reading along. Hope you enjoy the next two chapters! And for notsing, thanks for your concern – I completely appreciate your point, and I hope this chapter will put your fears to rest.

–H.

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE: Explanation**

"Whatcha say, guys? How we lookin'?"

David and Liz had returned from surveying the floor. Megan was perched on the edge of Don's desk, absently running her fingernails across her palm.

"Good, Don," Liz answered. "Interrogation's clear, and all the consultants except for ours have been signed out."

David answered, too, but he was looking at Megan. "Pretty much everyone who's on duty today is accounted for, and if they're not here they will be in the next five minutes."

"Okay, good. We'll get started in five minutes, then." Don nodded at them and walked off abruptly.

"Megan," David said quietly. "You okay?"

She looked up and gave him a sad smile. "I wish we didn't have to do this."

He shook his head. "Me too, but... I think Don's right. People aren't gonna stop treating Colby like he has the plague until they understand what happened. He's been back for almost three weeks – this has gone on long enough."

She just looked at him. "Glad you see it that way." Her voice was very quiet. "Doesn't make it easier, though."

"No." For a moment he wanted to say more, to reassure her, but Megan was already looking back down at her hands. "I'll, uh, just go check on Charlie and the rest."

Liz watched him go, then looked back over at Megan. She was closer to this team than any team she'd ever worked with, but this stuff with Colby was extremely personal – and she didn't really have any part in it. _Yeah, except trying to hold the team leader together when he goes off the deep end. No, Liz, that's not fair,_ she reprimanded herself silently. _You don't know what he's going to do yet. _She looked at Megan again. _Although they seem to._ _Guess you'll just have to wait and find out with everybody else._

She and Megan were joined by the four from the conference room just as Don returned. He made his way to the center of the room, moving past the now dozens of agents who watched him curiously.

"All right, everybody, thank you for cooperating so quickly." The last whispers died down as he paused. "I need you all to listen very carefully, because I am _only_ going to say this once – and after today I don't want to hear about it again, from any of you." He glared generally around the room. "I know there have been a lot of rumors and speculation going around about one of my agents. You all know exactly what I'm talking about. Some of you have read the case report – most of you haven't. So here are the _facts_. Special Agent Colby Granger was approached while at Quantico by a United States counterintelligence agent who was spying for the Chinese government. Agent Granger reported the incident, and was asked by counterintelligence to go undercover with the Chinese as a spy. He was responsible for feeding them false information and at the same time trying to figure out who was running the larger operation. When Agent Granger's Chinese contact got himself arrested for espionage, they were still looking for the leak. So Agent Granger agreed to –"

Don hadn't expected this part to be so difficult. When he continued, his voice had a dangerous edge. "_He_ _agreed_ to allow himself to be exposed as a spy, arrested for treason and put in jail with his contact. After five weeks, an escape was arranged by Agent Granger's counterintelligence handler. The plan was for Agent Granger and his contact to get out and then hope the contact would lead him right up the chain. Their escape was successful, but while it was happening the Chinese found Agent Granger's handler. He died while they were torturing him. He didn't give up anything, but the Chinese still found enough information to break Agent Granger's cover. So when his contact did lead him to the man in charge, this guy already knew exactly who Agent Granger was and what he was doing." He paused again. _When did I start breathing so heavily?_

"Now you're going to watch what happened next, all of you, and not a single person leaves this room until I say so." There was silence, and he heard his own voice much too loud. "Roll it."

Every screen in the room suddenly blinked to life, and a terrible, familiar square view appeared. _The chair. The armed guard. The door._ Don didn't need to watch to know what was about to happen, so he concentrated on getting back to his desk, to his team.

_**"****Come on in."**_

_**"****How ya doin'?"**_

_**"****Take a seat."**_

"Don," Liz pleaded, quietly. "Is this really necessary?"

He ignored her, eyeing the rest of his team. Charlie looked about five shades paler.

**"**_**Any problems?"**_

**"**_**Nothin' we couldn't handle."**_

"You don't have to stay, Charlie. Any of you." His nod included Amita and Larry. "You don't need to see this."

Charlie looked at him, something unreadable in his eyes. "I want to understand, Don. What he did..." He shook his head, as if reassuring himself. "If it helps Colby – I want to understand."

"Okay, Chuck." There was no hint of teasing in his voice. "Just promise me you'll leave if it's too much."

A nod. "I promise."

_**"****Do you – know who I am?"**_

_**"****Should I?"**_

_**"****Well that's a question I need answered, Agent Granger."**_

Megan was still leaning against his desk, eyes on the ground, only her white-knuckled grip on the edge of the desk betraying her. Liz sat at Megan's desk, but her eyes were on Don, not the screen overhead. David had pulled a chair over from somewhere and was sitting with them. He was the only one of the three actually watching, staring intensely at the screen – as if his intensity could somehow change what was going to happen there. Not a single person had touched Colby's chair.

_**"****Uh, it's not 'Agent' anymore."**_

_**"****Mike Kirkland says differently."**_

Don hated that look. Hated seeing Colby realize – and then accept – what had happened, what was going to happen to him. But more than that, he hated it because he had seen it before – not quite a week ago, when Colby approached him in the break room and asked to come back. _"But I know that decision's not entirely up to me, so..."_ And Colby had looked up, and there it was. The look that told Don he had the power to break this man – that he could in a single moment rip away everything Colby had left to hold on to. _Just like Lancer._ Even the memory made his stomach twist. It was not a look Don ever wanted to see again.

_**"****Am I missin' something?"**_

_**"****You been missing it for two years. He's a triple agent, Dwayne. He's been feeding us lousy intel and spying on the FBI for the last two years."**_

The next few hours were not going to be fun for anyone. Don grimaced.

_**"****May I have the, uh, phone please?"**_

_I really hope this was the right thing to do…_

_**"****How long were you planning on playing this – all the way through to China?"**_

_**"****If I had to."**_


	4. Assurance

**CHAPTER FOUR: Assurance**

Alan Eppes was a patient man. He had learned long ago that the most effective way to get his uncommunicative older son to talk was just to listen – even if there was nothing yet to listen to. Colby distinctly reminded him of Don, so he slowly drank his lemonade and waited.

"I, uh, I owe Don a lot." _Good a place to start as any._ "And not just for savin' my life – though I do appreciate that." He smiled, but still stared down at his glass. "To be honest, I didn't know what was gonna happen after all this. It wasn't even supposed to be this way, at the beginning." He finally looked up. "Dwayne was supposed to give me something – anything – that would lead me to his boss, and we'd take him down. That was always the plan. If it had worked out, no one would've even had to know I was undercover. Then Dwayne got himself caught, and..." He shrugged and looked away again. "It all went downhill from there."

"But you didn't back out. Even when you knew what would happen."

Colby's eyes flicked up. "Course not. It was my job, my responsibility. Kirkland was straight with me from the start. Told me this job might cost me everything. And I agreed – whatever it took." _Of_ c_ourse, I also thought the only thing I had to lose was my life. Not... this._

"Whatever it took," Alan echoed. "And that's what you did."

"Yeah." Colby's voice was quiet. "But the problem is – it wasn't just me anymore. It was _my_ choice when I told Kirkland I would do whatever it took to find this guy. No one else is responsible for that. But what right did I have to make that choice for Don, for David, for Megan – even Charlie?" For a moment he covered his face with his hands, and the gesture made him look even younger.

_Too young,_ Alan frowned. _Too young to be trying to carry a burden like that._

Colby raised his head again. "I can't undo what happened – what I put them through. Nothing's gonna change that. Still, I've been tryin' to make it right, tryin' to show them, to prove to them that – I don't know –" He shook his head and shrugged in frustration. "That somehow it was worth it, that finding me – savin' my life – and keepin' me on the team, even after everything... I can't repay that. But I'm trying."

"You mean by having some sort of death wish?" Alan said sharply.

Colby looked startled.

"I heard about what happened." Alan raised his eyebrows. "Jumping off a second-story balcony?" The eyebrows went even higher. "Onto a _moving truck_? That's a death wish, son."

Colby had the grace to blush. "I didn't –" he spluttered. "That's not – I'm not trying to kill myself. I'm not crazy." He glared at Alan.

"Mmhm." Alan looked at him for a long moment. "Colby, son, I know you feel responsible for what your friends went through. You think it was all your choice and not theirs. But that's just not how it works. You had to make a choice, yes, and there were consequences to that choice. And not _all_ of the consequences fell on you. But that doesn't change the fact that all of us are responsible for our own choices. Don's choices are his, not yours, and the same goes for David, Megan, and everyone else." He shook his head. "Don't go trying to take on more responsibility than actually belongs to you, Colby. Let them be responsible for their own actions. That means you've gotta accept that if Don says he wants you to stay on the team, he wants you to stay on the team. I know Donnie – he's a very stubborn boy. When he makes up his mind, that's it. No arguments." His voice grew a little gentler. "Colby, if you spend all of your time afraid of stepping on someone's toes or trying to prove that you belong on the team, you're not going to be much use to your teammates. Who, by the way, are also your _friends_. They care about you, Colby, and they spent five weeks thinking that they'd lost you – and then they almost lost you again, for good. Now they have you back. So _let_ them." He stopped, trying to gauge what kind of effect his words had had.

Colby stared down at the table. He was embarrassingly close to tears, and he _refused_ to cry. Not today. But it was a good minute before he trusted himself to speak. "I – how do I do that?" It was about all he could get out.

"Well, you can start by trying _not _to get yourself killed for a change." Alan saw the ghost of a smile on Colby's face. Encouraged, he continued. "And you can start acting like you're part of the team again. You _are_ part of the team, Colby. You're family. That doesn't change."

_**Not**__ crying. Really. Not. What is __**wrong**__ with me today?_

"You know... I think it might be time to have everyone over for dinner. The whole team. You have dinner plans for tonight, Colby?"

Colby just shook his head.

"Good. Then maybe you can stop over at the FBI and invite everyone. And ask Charlie to invite Amita and Larry, too. It'll be good for you to have something to do. Too much sitting around and thinking just isn't healthy."

"Amen to that," Colby muttered. His voice was still suspiciously scratchy.

Alan eyed him speculatively. "And then maybe you'd like to come back here and help me barbecue? I'm absolutely certain you can do better than our favorite mathematician."

He was rewarded with the first real smile he had seen from Colby yet.

"Yeah, I'd like that. It's been a while, but I don't think I've lost my touch." He nodded and got up from the table. "And I think I will head over to the office and see everyone. You're right – bein' alone hasn't been all that good for me today. I'll, uh, let them know about dinner and then head back here." Suddenly he frowned. "You sure you don't mind? Me bein' here all day, I mean?"

"Colby, do I really have to go through this again? I don't like being alone any more than you do. Come on, it'll be fun."

Another smile. "All right, thanks, Mr. Eppes." Colby looked him straight in the eyes and took a deep breath. "For everything. I really – appreciate it."

"Anytime, son. Don't hesitate. If you ever need some sense talked into you, my door is always open."

And _that_ earned a true Colby grin. "I'll be sure and remember that. Oh, Mr. Eppes –" he turned back, halfway to the door. "What time should I tell them?"

"Seven o'clock. And you better tell those sons of mine I expect them not to be late."

"Yes, sir." A final grin, and Colby was out the door.

Alan let out a satisfied sigh. _That was a good day's work. Now let's hope tonight goes just as well._

~~~~~4~~~~~

Colby left the Eppes' home feeling – _better,_ he thought. _I needed that. _Ever since waking up in a hospital bed, surprised to be alive, he had been working to salvage what was left of his life here. He had tried to show Don he could be trusted back on the team. Tried to show Megan – and Charlie – how grateful he was, how he would do anything for them. Tried to save his friendship with David. He knew it was working – that his efforts were actually paying off – and his team was starting to come back together. _So what's wrong? Seriously, why do I still feel like there's something more – something I need to do to show them that everything that happened, everything I asked them to do, was worth it?_

_"Colby, if you spend all your time trying to prove that you belong on the team, you're not going to be much use to your teammates."_

No, Alan was right. If his team said they wanted him back, he just had to trust them. Otherwise he was useless – worse than useless. _And you do trust them, you idiot – otherwise why did you turn down that job in DC __**before**__ asking Don if he would take you back? And why did you call him on that train when you knew they had absolutely no reason to believe you? No, you trust them all right. Your brain just needs to get with the program._ Colby knew there were still things he was avoiding – _yeah, like sleep_. But this – his team – this was something he _could _do. _And tonight will be a good start._


	5. Collision

Hi friends – thanks again for reading, and I do hope you enjoy this chapter! Also, thank you to those of you who took the time to let me know what you think of the story so far – I really appreciate it. A note for notsing: I understand where you're coming from on Don, but just so you know there will be more explanation of his motivations later on in the story. That said, I would love to discuss it further with you (maybe over email?) once the whole story is up.

–H.

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE: Collision**

_**"****Lesson number one: you can't lie, and I don't bluff."**_

Liz had always half suspected that Colby used his humor, his sarcasm, as a defense – _maybe that's one reason why he's been so... serious lately_ – but this? This was a whole different kind of gutsy. Liz didn't really want to be here, could think of plenty of things she would rather be doing than watching a friend get – _tortured_, especially by a creepy Chinese double agent who was now dead. _Actually, most of the people in this video are dead – even Colby died, technically._ Her face went a little whiter. _Oh no. No, no, no – we're gonna watch Colby __**die**__? Don, what the heck? This is a bad idea. This is a __**really**__ bad __idea –_ but she knew he wouldn't listen to her. _Hasn't listened to me all day – why would he start now?_ And she sighed, accepting the fact that for right now she was just going to have to go along with it. _Hey, if Colby survived this – I guess we can, too._

~~~~~5~~~~~

About to open his car door, Colby caught sight of his reflection. He hadn't exactly put much time or thought into getting dressed that morning – hadn't really been planning on seeing anyone. _I look like a mess. There's no way I'm showin' up at the office like this. Especially since some people think they have nothin' better to do than stare at me when they think I'm not lookin'._ He checked his watch, then started the car. _Guess I have time to run home and change first. And shave._ He scowled at himself in the rearview mirror, and headed back to his apartment.

~~~~~5~~~~~

_**"****Think of what you'd do in my position, multiply that by five, and you'll understand what I'm willing to put you through."**_

If Charlie had started out uncomfortable, things were _really_ bad right about now. The sound of Colby's breathing – _if you could call it that_ – filled the room, but Charlie's heart was pounding so loud in his ears that it drowned out almost everything else. Didn't really matter if he couldn't hear, though – watching Colby's face was bad enough. _How much more of this can there possibly be? And how much more can I take?_ He absently wondered if there was a way to calculate that, to identify the single inflection point – when up became down and instead of standing here, intensely uncomfortable, he would be bent over in the bathroom losing his lunch. _I really do __**not**__ want it to get that far_. He shivered a little and rubbed Amita's hand to distract himself. _Amita._ She had put her arm through his while the men on the screen were restraining Colby – _Colby didn't resist, but really, what good would it have done?_ – and leaned against him. Charlie wasn't sure if he was holding her up or the other way around, but it didn't matter. "Amita..." He spoke into her hair on his shoulder. "You don't have to stay – you don't have to watch this."

She tipped her head to look up at him. "Charlie, Colby's a friend. And Don thinks this will help him, so..."

Her eyes looked watery. _Was she crying?_ Charlie swallowed.

"Besides –" Amita gave him a soft smile. "If you're staying, I'm staying."

He looked at her for a moment, then wrapped an arm around her waist and held her closer. "I love you," he said, very quietly.

~~~~~5~~~~~

It was amazing what a shave and a change of clothes could do. _So what if some of them stare. Or talk. They think I don't see it, but – it's not like it bothers me. __**Liar.**__ Okay, so maybe it does bother me. And maybe I've just been too busy worrying about what the people I__** actually**__ care about think to do anything about it. __Besides, the rest of them don't know anything. At least – I think they don't._ He frowned. How much, exactly, did everyone at the FBI – not just his team – know about what happened? He would have to ask Don about that. Either way, it was no use worrying about it right now. _You're just there to say hi to the team, and invite them to dinner._ He smiled. Alan Eppes was a good man, and Colby had a feeling that if he was running the show, tonight was going to turn out just fine. _Too bad he can't run the FBI, too._

~~~~~5~~~~~

_**"****I know Kirkland. If you tortured him, he didn't tell you anything."**_

_Kirkland._ In some ways, Mike Kirkland had known David's partner for the past two years better than anyone. Better than David. _Did he realize what he was asking Colby to do, when he got him involved in all this? Did Colby?_ It was getting more difficult to watch Colby struggle for breath on the screen – even worse because David knew what was coming next. He had finally started to put away his anger, his distrust of Colby, but what it left behind was guilt. Colby had hurt him, had lied to him – that was true – but all he knew right now was that _no one_ deserved to go through this. _Colby's obviously suffered enough – and you didn't help. He's back now, but if you push him away again, you're gonna lose him for good. You already know what that feels like – so don't let it happen._

_**"****It also causes hallucinations, and a loss of mental and physical control."**_

_**"****Good. Then you'll know what to expect."**_

It was all Megan could do not to shove her hands over her ears – or simply scream. _One hour, two hours, five?_ She had no idea how long it had been, but she knew she couldn't take much more of this. Their last case – the serial killer, torturing his victims – had dragged all the demons from her DOJ assignment back out of hiding, and this was only making it worse. Ironically, Colby had been the one to reassure her – _"I figure the only way things might get better is if people like you and I don't run away"_ – just a few days ago._ Colby. _Her hands were cramping from the death grip she had on Don's desk, but she couldn't let go. If she did, she really would scream. She still hadn't looked up at the screen, but she didn't need to. She knew exactly what was going to happen. Colby was going to die, right in front of her _– just like the others_ –and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. Suddenly a gentle, familiar hand settled on her shoulder. "Larry –" was all she could manage, but it was enough. He reached an arm around her and she transferred her death grip to his shirt, burying her face in the side of his neck. She couldn't tell if her breath was quicker because she was crying or because she had been listening to Colby breathe – _or try to_ – for who knows how long. Larry's other hand gently stroked her hair, and for a few moments she could concentrate just on that and forget – almost – what was happening. _Almost, but not quite._

~~~~~5~~~~~

Colby took a deep breath as he shut off the engine. _Here goes nothin'._

Walking into the lobby, he was aware of just how many people avoided eye contact with him. The receptionist gave him a smile and a friendly wave. He smiled back. _Hey, at least she thinks I'm all right._

He was the only one waiting for the elevator – not that he minded. It opened, and an agent pushed a cart full of files out into the lobby. "Sorry –" she smiled at him apologetically as he moved out of the way.

"No problem." He automatically hit the button for his floor, crossed his arms, and watched the numbers change steadily above him. _3... 4... _Suddenly he frowned. _I hope they're actually here – not out on a case or something. I don't really wanna wait around..._ And then the elevator dinged, and once again the doors opened.

It was the last thing he expected, and it hit him like a train. The room was eerie – filled with people, but no one moved or spoke. All it took was that voice – _"Do they __**know **__**my **__**name**__?"_ – and the sound of his own labored breathing – _it was his, he knew it too well_ – and he was _there._ The world collapsed, folding in on itself, constricting, paralyzing, and it was all he could do to drag breath into his body. _"Your name, your dog's name, your grandmother's name – everybody knows everything."_ His voice sounded distant, outside of himself, but it had to be his. Part of him wondered how he could speak if he couldn't breathe, but the effort of breathing wouldn't let him get farther than that. _Hallucination – must've been. _His mind rationalized rapidly. _Then none of it was real – the sirens – the needle – the hospital – and Don, the team, letting him come back. Of course it wasn't real. How could he have thought – how could he have been so stupid? There was none of that – nothing at all except him, and the voice asking questions, and not enough oxygen._

He thought he heard someone calling his name – a different voice – but the world was just a spinning mass of color that had narrowed to the pain of breathing and the knowledge that this time, there wasn't going to be any way out. He was dying. _"Last chance to turn back." I burned that bridge a long time ago. There is no going back._

Colby dropped to his knees, still gasping for breath, as the elevator doors began to close.

~~~~~5~~~~~

No one had noticed, at first, when the elevator doors slid open.

_**"****Do they know my name?"**_

Don, standing across the room, caught the motion out of the corner of his eye, but it took a few moments for his brain to properly identify it – and tell him it might be important.

_**"****Your name, your dog's name, your grandmother's name – everybody knows everything."**_

He turned his head to look – saw the man standing there, in the elevator, and suddenly the world entered slow motion.

_**"****The last syringe is potassium chloride – the finisher in a lethal injection cocktail. If I can't know what you know, then it's really best for me that no one else does."**_

His mouth wasn't working, his hands weren't working, his legs weren't working. His stomach was threatening to empty itself. _I don't believe this – what is he __**doing**__ here?_

_**"****What it comes down to is, do you want to spend the last hours in unholy pain – just so that you can die?"**_

Finally Don's muscles caught up with his brain. "Col-Colby –" he gasped. _Doesn't anyone else __**see**__ him?_

David glanced over. _Did Don say something?_ One look at Don's face and David shot to his feet.

"_Colby _–" Don managed to say again, and took a step forward.

David's head snapped around to look in the other direction.

_**"****Granger – don't do this, it's not worth it for some secrets nobody'll care about six months from now."**_

There was nothing wrong with David's muscles. The sight of Colby in the elevator, white-faced and clearly struggling to breathe, was a shot of adrenaline second only to the sight of Colby – white-faced and _dead_ – slumped over in a chair on that freighter. He sprinted towards the elevator, shoving past agents too startled to get out of his way fast enough.

_**"****Dwayne, I really wish somebody else had pulled me outta that fire."**_

His body found the oxygen to yell. "Colby – Colby!"

_**"****Why?"**_

_When did the elevator get so far away?_

_**"****Cause I hate owing you."**_

"COLBY!" The elevator doors were closing. _No, no!_ He had to get there in time.

_**"****THIS IS THE FBI – SHUT DOWN YOUR ENGINES. PREPARE TO BE BOARDED."**_

The sound of sirens filled the room. David slid to a stop, frantically pushing the 'down' button, willing time to move faster.

_**"****What're you doing?"**_

Colby was on his knees, leaning heavily against the elevator wall as the doors opened – completely unaware of David dropping in front of him.

_**"****What I said I would."**_

"Colby – _Colby_. Can you hear me?"

David was desperate. He knew what the David behind him on the screen was doing: freeing Colby from the chair – laying him on the ground – pounding on his chest – _"Saved my life, man."_ But this David, right here? He had no idea what to do – no idea how to save Colby this time.


	6. Rebound

Dear friends, I'm sorry if I left you "just waiting" (anaid) at the end of the last chapter. Then again, there's nothing like a good dramatic pause... but here is the next chapter, so please feel free to take a breath. Thank you all for reading, and thank you for your comments. Notsing, you raise an interesting point, and I'm curious to see what you think of the next few chapters.

–H.

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX: Rebound**

"Colby, listen to me – _listen to me_. You're okay, man, you're safe, you just gotta breathe. Come on, Colby, breathe! Deep breaths – it's okay, just breathe. Colby, listen to me – _please_. Colby!"

He couldn't tell if any of it was getting through. Behind him, he could hear someone on the phone with 911. _Yeah, good luck explaining __**this**__ one._ Mercifully, someone had also shut off the video.

"Colby. Listen to me – you're _safe_. You're at the FBI, and you can breathe. You _can_ breathe. You just gotta calm down, Colby. Can you hear me? Come on, Colby!"

It might have been his imagination, but David thought Colby's breathing was maybe a little slower, a little deeper, slightly less ragged. The elevator doors closed again, and David took a second to punch the button for the lobby.

"All right, Colb – I'm gonna get you home now. Just _keep breathing_. Slowly. Take deep breaths – because you _can_. You can breathe, Colby, you're okay. You're gonna be okay. You just gotta _trust_ me. Keep breathin'."

Colby's breaths were definitely slower now. _And less painful, I hope._ David watched his eyes flicker open for a second.

"Hey, Colb, take it easy. You're doin' great." Colby's eyes flickered again. David heard the elevator ding, and he moved closer.

"Okay, we're gonna get you outta here now. Can you stand up?"

Colby made a movement that might have been trying to get up. David grabbed him under the arms and hauled him up. "Let's go."

David had his left arm around Colby's waist, and Colby's right arm pulled over his shoulders. Colby's breathing was a lot closer to being under control, and he was coordinated enough at this point to keep his feet moving in the right direction. Those were the only two things David cared about right now.

Halfway across the lobby, Colby pulled away from him.

"I can walk, David, let me go." His voice was rough, hardly loud enough to hear.

David glanced at him, then dropped Colby's arm but put a firm hand on his shoulder. "All right, we're goin' to my car. I'm gonna drive you home."

"I can drive myself."

"No, you can't."

"David –"

"No. Don't even _try_ to argue with me, Colby. It's not gonna work."

Colby shut his mouth in a tight line and concentrated on walking. When they reached David's car, he climbed in the passenger seat and closed his eyes. His breathing still seemed unsteady – more unsteady than David liked.

Pulling out of the FBI garage, David looked over at him. _So what happens now?_

~~~~~6~~~~~

_You look exhausted, Colb – maybe what happens now is you just go to sleep, and we get this mess sorted out tomorrow_. Colby had dropped onto the couch in his apartment, eyes closed again, the moment they walked in. David was pretty sure he hadn't moved for the last ten minutes. _Well yeah, I guess you'd be tired too if you just spent an hour convincing your body it does actually wanna breathe._ He sat down on the edge of the coffee table. "Colby, man, I think you should go to bed. No good fallin' asleep on the couch."

Colby opened his eyes, but stared past David toward the opposite wall. "Not asleep."

David had never heard Colby's voice sound like that before. _What...?_ And then he knew. Colby wasn't just tired – he was furious.

"How could Don – _do _that to me, David? And how could _you_ let him?" Colby looked over at David, who almost flinched. "That tape – that was_ personal._ And now..." He choked on a dry laugh. "Every single person in the bureau has seen it. You wanted me gone? Well, congratulations. There's no _way_ I'm going back now." There was no mistaking the bitterness in his voice.

"Colby..." _Where do I even start?_ "I do _not_ want you gone. You've been too close to gone – too many times now. I want my _partner_ back, Colby. And I'm not lettin' you outta my sight ever again – you realize that, right?" He smiled, hoping it would somehow pull Colby out of this funk.

Colby took a sharp breath in and out, then shook his head. "David, I dunno... I mean I basically spent the whole last month tryin' to get past it – tryin' to get everyone else past it, too, and now it all just blew up in my face."

"Look, Colb, Don was just tryin' to _help_ you. He saw the way people treated you – we all did – and he decided that enough was enough. Colby, he put the fear of God in 'em – no one's gonna bother you again, trust me."

"Oh, great. So now things are _really_ never gonna get back to normal. Everyone who's not avoiding me 'cause I'm a spy is gonna be avoiding me 'cause they're afraid of Don." Colby rolled his eyes.

"Colby – man, there is nothin' normal about you."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

David was silent for a moment. "Look, I know there's been a lot of things unsaid between us..."

Colby looked down, then back up at him. "Look man, David – say what you gotta say. Get it out there. Only way it's gonna get any better."

David nodded. "I know." He paused again. "You know, where I come from you _expect_ people to turn on you. You're constantly watchin' your back because those people you think are your friends? Any minute they're gonna turn around and stab you in the back –" he shrugged. "Just 'cause that's what people do. I got outta there – I was lucky – but it never really leaves you, ya know? Even joinin' the bureau... I had a hard time trustin' people." He laughed. "I think it took me only slightly less time to trust Don than for him to trust me. And that's sayin' something."

Colby cracked a smile.

David looked at him. "But you, Colb, I dunno. I mean, you _know_ what I thought the first time we worked together – thought you were crazy, and green, and about to get us both killed."

"Yeah, thanks David. Love you too, man."

"Hey, you didn't let me finish – I said that was the _first_ time we worked together. After that... I, uh, I trusted you, Colby. Told you things I've never told anyone else. It never, _ever_, occurred to me to watch my back around you. So when, uh... when I heard your name on that tape, heard you _confess_ – I couldn't handle it." His voice was getting lower. "I was so angry – angry at you, at Ashby, at Carter. And at myself. I couldn't believe I thought I was safe, let my guard down, _didn't_ watch my back – and then got blindsided where I least expected it. If I'd had my head on straight, maybe I woulda figured it out sooner, but I was pretty messed up. Easier just to stay angry and not think about it. Then when you called Don – I just couldn't, I couldn't let myself think that maybe you were tellin' the truth this time because either way it was gonna be painful. Either it would be just another disappointment, another betrayal, or, uh – or I had..." He couldn't get the words out.

Colby looked away. _I'll bet he doesn't like people seein' him try not to cry, either..._

"I don't know many people who could've done what you did, Colby." More silence. "And I can't change what happened to you, but –"

"David –" Colby cut him off. "I don't need an apology, man. I don't _want_ an apology. You believed... exactly what you were supposed to believe, two months ago. I _needed_ you to believe I was spyin' for the Chinese. That was the hardest thing I've ever done, lyin' to all of you that night. And when I called Don, it was because I was desperate. I had no backup, no other options. I had no idea whether anyone would believe me or not. I told Don I trusted him, and I did. I trusted him not to stop until he figured out the truth, but I knew it might be too late by the time he did. Then on that freighter... I had to believe you guys were comin' for me, 'cause I had nothin' else left." He shook his head. "You get a lotta clarity, dyin'. The only thing I wanted after everything was to come _back_. To stay here, to not lose all of you. That's all I've been tryin' to do the past few weeks. Tryin' to fix things, to give you all a reason to let me stay, even after what I did." He closed his eyes. "I _know_ that I hurt you, David. I hurt all of you. And I can't –"

"Colby, I don't need you to apologize, either. I think we, uh, both feel pretty bad about everything that happened. But feelin' guilty won't change anything, and it won't help us get back to bein' partners." He looked at Colby. "Or friends."

"You sure you really want that, David?"

"Yeah, Colby, I'm sure."

Colby broke into a slow smile. "I, uh, guess that means I'll have to stay, then."

"That's right you will. I'm not lettin' you outta my sight, remember?"

"Yeah, right. Good luck with that."

"Colby, I am a highly trained federal agent. Piece of cake."

They were both smiling now, and it felt good. _Best it's felt in a long time._

"Hey," David was suddenly serious. "You really do look like you could use some sleep, Colb. You just put your body through a workout in that elevator."

"Nah, man – not really that tired."

"Uh huh?" David looked at him skeptically. "You havin' trouble sleepin'?"

"I'm fine."

"Right. You were a lot better at lyin' two months ago, Colby. Maybe you should take a sleeping pill or something – you got one of those? You need the rest."

"I'm _fine_, David. And I don't take sleeping pills."

There was an odd note in Colby's voice, and David frowned. "You 'don't take' sleeping pills? What, are you allergic?"

Colby sighed. "No, David, I'm not allergic."

"Well what, then? And you might as well tell me, 'cause I'm not leavin' until you do."

Colby shook his head in exasperation. "You don't give up, do you?" He was quiet for a long moment_. Gotta start somewhere, I guess_. "Look, David, I quit takin' sleeping pills after Afghanistan. Everybody... everybody says the pills help with the nightmares. Well, they don't. Just means you don't remember 'em when you wake up. Also means when you're in one, you _can't_ wake up. At least, I can't. I know, because two weeks after I got back, people in the apartment above mine called the cops at three in the morning. I was – screaming, in my sleep. Wouldn't wake up. Finally they called a paramedic, gave me a shot of adrenaline to wake me up." He grimaced. "Couldn't fall asleep again for thirty-six hours. Never took another sleeping pill. Moved out of my apartment the next week."

David just looked at him_. Nightmares, huh? Shoulda figured. No wonder you look exhausted._ "I guess, uh, no sleeping pills, then. How about some dinner? You hungry?"

"_Dinner?_" Colby suddenly sat straight up. "Oh man, David – what time is it?"

"It's uh, just about six-thirty. Why? You supposed to be somewhere?"

"Yeah, David, look – can you do me a favor?"

"Sure – anything."

"I need you to call Megan and – and Charlie, and tell them that Mr. Eppes invited everyone for dinner tonight at seven. Charlie might already be home, but – tell them to call Larry and Amita. And you be there, too."

"Okay, but what about Don?"

"I think Don and I need to, uh, talk. Alone. Can you drop me at the office so I can get my car? I'll head over to Don's apartment from there."

"Yeah, and what about Liz?"

Colby made a face. "She'll probably be there. I'm hopin' she'll understand, though... and I'll tell her about dinner so she can just meet you guys at the Eppes' place."

"Okay, Colb, if you're sure about this..."

"I'm sure, David. Please, just – do this for me, okay?"

"Absolutely. Now let's go – don't have a lot of time to get this party together."

"Thanks, man." Colby's relief was just as clear as his bitterness had been earlier. He pulled the door shut behind them. _This has been some kinda day._

* * *

Author's Note: I have no personal experience with trauma nightmares, sleeping pills, adrenaline, or anything of the sort. Please forgive me if any of what I wrote is inaccurate or impossible - I simply wrote what my brain told me was plausible. It has, however, been known to be wrong...


	7. Guilt

For those of you looking for Don & Colby's conversation, I'm sorry, but we're not quite there yet. I hope you like this chapter anyway (and notsing, this is part one of my take on Don's motivations). As always, thanks for reading along and for sharing your thoughts.

–H.

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN: Guilt**

When 5:30 rolled around and Colby still hadn't returned, Alan thought briefly about calling him. _Just to make sure nothing happened... No, let the boy be. He probably just got wrapped up in whatever case Don's working on. There's really no such thing as an "off-duty" FBI agent._ He smiled. _But I'm sure they'll make it here for dinner – there's no such thing as a "not-hungry" FBI agent, either._

At 6:30, Don walked in the door. "Hey, dad."

"Hi, Donnie." Alan peered around him. "Didn't Colby come back with you?"

"Colby?" Surprise and guilt were unmistakable in Don's voice. "What do you mean 'didn't he come back with me'?"

"Well when he was here earlier we decided to invite the whole crew over for dinner. I made barbecue – didn't he tell you? He was going to come back and help me, but I figured he just got pulled into your latest case..." Alan's voice trailed off as he caught the look in Don's eyes.

"Aw, no, dad, _that's_ why he showed up at the office? And we... aw, man. Really screwed up this time." Don put a hand over his eyes and tried to pull his thoughts together. _How the heck did we let this happen – how did __**I **__let this happen?_ "I dunno dad, I don't know how to fix this one. I really don't."

"What, Donnie? What is it? What happened? Is it Colby?"

"Yeah, well, Colby wasn't exactly supposed to be at the office today, dad. In fact, I practically ordered him to stay away. But he, uh, he walked in while the tape was playing. Of him. From the freighter."

"What, you mean – oh, no, Donnie."

"Yeah. So basically he just watched himself die on tape. That'd mess pretty much anyone up, and Colby – I mean it hasn't even been a month."

"Well, what, I mean – is he okay?"

Don sighed. "I don't know, dad. He, uh, he had a pretty severe flashback. In front of everyone. I mean, it was like he was back there. Like he was still..." He closed his eyes. "You know, it's bad enough watching it on the tape, but seein' it for real – right in front of you, I mean..."

There was a heavy silence. _What did I do?_

Both men shared the single thought.

Finally Don spoke again. "David got in the elevator with him, got him downstairs, got him calmed down, I think. He probably brought Colby home – or maybe to the ER – I think someone called 911. Honestly, I haven't seen either of them since then. I didn't know what to do, dad, I mean – I saw him there and I just, I froze. Couldn't do a thing. And Megan was crying..." He spread his hands in frustration. "I don't know why I thought it was a good idea, I just – I was tryin' to make things right, you know? Some leader I am."

"You know, Donnie," Alan said thoughtfully, "that's the second time today I've heard that. Wanting to 'make things right.' So it was your idea to play the video?"

"Yeah." Don stared at the ground for a moment. "Colby... there've been a lotta rumors goin' around the office. A lotta stories. People've been avoiding him, talkin' behind his back, givin' him looks, stupid things like that." He looked up. "It's been pretty bad. I didn't really wanna get involved at first 'cause honestly, I was still tryin' to figure out what _I_ thought about everything. Doesn't mean I didn't see it, though. And Colby doesn't say much, but, it's tough on him. It's like – half the people have no idea why he's back at the bureau when he was arrested for treason two months ago. I mean, you can imagine what kind of – of work environment that creates. And you know Colby – it's not like he's gonna go around telling people he's this big hero or something. I think he'd rather everybody just forget the whole thing even happened. And he hasn't exactly had it easy from David, either, the past few weeks. Yeah, or me – but I told him I want him back, and I mean it. Now this is _my_ _agent_ we're talkin' about. I'm not just gonna stand there and watch him take that kind of crap from people anymore. He's done that enough – _more _than enough."

Don broke off and lowered his voice. "So, I figured we'd better just set everyone straight and be done with it. Spent the whole morning in the AD's office, convinced him to get me clearance to tell our whole floor exactly what happened, and for them to watch the tape. I was pretty sure once people saw it – they'd leave him alone. And if we could get our floor off his case, it wouldn't take long for everyone else to come around. Gave Colby the day off, so I thought it was safe... guess that backfired." He took a deep breath. "Now, I – I don't know. I don't know what this is gonna do to him – psychologically, I mean." He was genuinely scared. "Dad, whatever happens to him because of this – that's my fault. My responsibility."

"Donnie. I told you this wasn't the first time today I heard someone talk about 'making things right.' Well, that was Colby. Both of you are trying to take responsibility for things you have no business being responsible for. So I'll tell you exactly what I told him – we are all responsible for our own choices. You may have chosen to show everyone that tape, but what Colby does with that is _up to him_, not you. The only thing you're responsible for now is what _you_ are going to do. Which clearly you haven't decided yet. Besides, if anyone should feel responsible for this, it's me. I'm the one that sent Colby to the FBI today."

"Aw, dad, no – it's not your fault." He stopped. "But you're right about one thing. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I mean, should I go check on him, make sure he's okay? Or am I the last person he wants to see right now? And how can I expect him to just walk into the office tomorrow morning, like nothing happened?" _I really hope you have an answer for this one, dad, 'cause I'm way outta my league here._

"You know, Donnie, I've got a whole kitchen full of barbecue that really should be eaten. I think you should call everyone up and invite them for dinner. It's only seven – there's plenty of time. And you just make sure Colby comes, even if you have to drive him yourself." He shook his head at Don. "This is not the time to let him alone, son. He needs to know that you're there for him – all of you – because the last time he went through this he was alone. This time it's different. You're his family – so act like one."

"Yeah. Yeah, dad, you're right." Don was already moving. "Look, will you call Charlie and – and Megan and tell them what's up? Have them get everyone else over here. I'm gonna call David and find out what's going on with Colby, then I'm gonna go pick him up. And he's not gonna have a choice about it, either."

"Don – was Charlie there today? In the office?"

Don stopped, halfway out the door already. "Yeah, dad, Charlie was there. And Larry, and Amita. I told 'em they didn't have to stay, but – they made their own decisions." He grimaced slightly. "I was pretty sure Charlie was gonna be sick, but he stuck it out."

"Donnie, he's not an FBI agent. He's your brother. You can't expect him – he shouldn't have to see these things."

"Dad, Charlie's not a kid anymore. He's a grown man, and he can take care of himself. You were the one who said we're responsible for our own choices, right?" He quieted a little. "I wish I could've kept him from seeing it, I really do. But honestly, he's just as much a part of the team as anyone, and I think Colby's gonna need all the help he can get. Besides, Charlie's the one who never gave up on him in the first place."

Alan sighed. "Just make sure you watch out for him – for both of them. Now go on, go call David."

Don grinned. "Don't worry, I will. Thanks, dad. I'll be right back, and I'm bringing Colby this time."

As he disappeared out the door, Alan went to the phone and began to dial Charlie's number.


	8. Honesty

This is, finally, the chapter where Don & Colby talk. Thanks for reading and letting me know what you think – I'm glad that so many of you are enjoying the story. And notsing (and everyone else), thanks for leaping with me :)

–H.

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT: Honesty**

As it turned out, Don didn't need to call anyone. He shut the door and turned around only to find Colby in the driveway, getting out of his car.

_Wait, Colby's __**here**__?_ Don wasn't sure what that meant.

"Uh, hey Colby. I was just about to come lookin' for you."

"Yeah, I've been lookin' for you, too, Don. Been to your apartment. And Liz's. She said you were here."

_He had been the last person Liz expected to see standing outside her door that night. "Is Don here?" he asked, as if it were perfectly normal. "I think he went to his dad's house – Charlie's house, that is." "Oh. There's, uh – everyone's invited there for dinner. The whole team." He paused. "Okay, Colby, I uh, guess I'll be there, then." "Dinner's at seven." "All right, well, I'll see you at seven." "Yeah. Thanks, Liz." And then he left. She was pretty sure it was one of the strangest conversations she'd ever had._

"Yeah, well, here I am."

"Look, Don, we need to talk."

"Yeah, we do."

"And everyone else is headed here, so... I was thinkin' we could go somewhere else."

"Oh yeah? You got someplace in mind?"

"Not really, just... was gonna drive to the park or something."

Don nodded. "Okay, Colb, let's drive to the park." He walked around to the other side of Colby's car and opened the door.

Colby let out a breath. _Didn't realize I was nervous about this..._

~~~~~8~~~~~

When Colby shut off the engine, they sat in silence for a few minutes.

Don glanced over. "Are you okay, Colby?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Colby..."

"No really, I'm fine, Don. It was just a flashback – no... physical effects." He took a long, slow breath and leaned his head back against the seat. "I just can't believe you would do that. I trusted you." He looked over at Don. "I mean, I knew that someone had to watch it, and I thought it would probably have been you. And I knew it was a possibility that the whole team would've seen it, but _everyone_? Don, I don't..."

Don watched Colby's eyes close. _"He needs to know that you're there for him – all of you." I know, Dad, I know. I'm tryin'._ "Look, Colby, I'm sorry. I screwed up. I really, honestly meant to help you. You weren't supposed to know, and you _definitely_ weren't supposed to show up in the middle of it."

"What, so you were just gonna go behind my back and show everyone?" Colby snorted. "Cause that's a great way to build trust."

"No, look, Colb – I should've told you. At least made sure you were okay with it. I get that – but I was just tryin' to do my job, Colby. Tryin' to protect my agent."

Colby frowned. "I don't need you to babysit me, Don."

"Yeah, well, somebody had to stick up for you." _Since you weren't doin' it yourself._

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Colby, I saw the way people treated you. And you wouldn't tell 'em anything, so what were they supposed to think?"

"What, so you're on their side now?"

"No, Colby –" Don was frustrated.

"Look, Don, I'm still pretty much _persona non grata_ 'round the LA office right now. Yeah, so some big shots in DC think I did somethin' good, but out here?" He shook his head. "I'm just the guy who spied on the office. Most of them probably think I'm still spying on 'em. And even you guys – took you three weeks to decide if you still wanted me around or not. So I'm not about to go pickin' any fights over stuff that doesn't matter."

"Well, Colby, it does matter. Just because you were undercover doesn't mean people get to treat you like crap. And it matters to _me_ because you're my agent – and my friend, and you almost died protectin' your country, Colb." His voice got quieter. "And I think people should know that about you. Especially if it means you're gonna get some respect around the office."

"Don, I don't want _respect_. I just wanna be a regular agent, like everybody else. I want people to treat me _normal_."

"Well good luck with that, Colb – nothin' normal about you."

Colby had to laugh. "You been talkin' to David?"

"What, he tell you the same thing? I always knew he was a smart guy." Don smiled. "Look Colby, I know this wasn't easy – that the last two _years_ haven't been easy for you. But when I said I didn't want to let you go, I meant it. You're part of the family, Colb, and you don't have to try and do everything by yourself. That's what we're here for. You got it?"

Colby sighed, but it was a moment before he spoke. "Think maybe I'm starting to."

"Good." Don looked over at him. "Are you gonna be okay comin' back in tomorrow? We could really use you..."

Colby nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"All right – and you know we'll be right there with you."

"Yeah – I know." And finally Colby smiled. "Now whadda ya say we head back before they've finished all the food?"

Don smiled. "Sounds good to me, Colb."

~~~~~8~~~~~

"There's my two prodigal sons," Alan called out as Don and Colby entered the house. "Come and eat before Charlie finishes all the chicken."

"Hey now, that's not fair, dad – David's eaten just as much as I have."

"And I'm about to eat more." David reached for another piece as they all laughed.

It was obvious to Colby that everyone was trying very hard not to look at him too much – or too little. He shook his head, smiling, as he pulled out a chair and sat down. "It's okay guys – I'm not gonna suddenly have a seizure or anything." _Well __**now**__ they're all lookin' at me._ "Really, I'm fine. Ask David – I was fine by the time we got down to the lobby." _Okay, so maybe that's stretchin' it a little._

David nodded. "He's all right. And trust me – I would tell you if he wasn't." He looked straight at Colby.

_Seems like they patched things up,_ thought Alan. "Right, so who wants more chicken. Don? Colby?"

As if his words had broken a spell, everyone began talking at once.

"Yeah, Dad, gimme some of that."

"Absolutely, Mr. Eppes – I'm starving."

"Well of course you are – here. Have as much as you want."

The others had all resumed their conversations, but Megan was still quiet, studying Colby. After a few moments Larry leaned over. "Is everything all right, Megan?"

She turned and smiled at him. "Yeah, Larry, I think it is. I think... we're gonna be okay."

"I'm very glad to hear that. Now, if I remember correctly, you were telling me about the time your dog ended up in the mayor's swimming pool?"

She laughed. "Oh yeah – well, here we were, chasing him down the street..."

Alan surveyed the table and smiled. _Sounds like family to me._


	9. Family

Dear friends, we've come to the end of the story – the final chapter and then the epilogue. Thank you so much for reading, and I do hope that you've enjoyed it. Until next time…

–H.

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE: Family**

When everyone began to drift into the living room after the food was gone, Charlie and Colby found themselves alone at the table.

Colby wasn't sure what to make of the look Charlie was giving him. "How ya doin', Charlie? Everything okay?"

Charlie blushed. "Yeah, I was just… I didn't realize. I mean, Don told me, but... it's different."

"Different? What's different?" He paused. "Wait, Charlie, were you – did Don actually let you...?"

Charlie nodded. "Yeah."

Colby shook his head. "I'm sorry, man – you shouldn't've had to see that."

"Don't be. I mean, it was my choice – Don gave me a choice, and I chose to stay. I wanted to understand. And I think..." He paused. "I think I'd like to put you in my book, Colby. I'll change the details, of course, for national security, but..."

Colby tilted his head. "You wanna put me in your book? I guess – I mean, sure, why not? I'd be honored, Charlie."

"Good – I'm glad." And Charlie smiled.

~~~~~9~~~~~

He was in the kitchen getting more lemonade when Liz walked in. "So – you found Don."

"Yeah."

"Look, Colby –"

_Not you too. Do we really have to do this right now?_

"It means a lot that you guys treat me like part of the family, even though I haven't been around as long. So – thanks. And I want you to know that I got your back just as much as everyone else here."

_That's – not what I expected you to say, Liz._

"Uh, thanks." _Thanks for being the one who treats me just like any other agent._

She was turning to go.

"Hey, Liz – we got your back, too. Don't forget that."

She smiled. "Thanks, Granger."

~~~~~9~~~~~

At one point, Colby found himself on the couch with Megan while the rest of them took bets on who would win Larry and Alan's chess game.

"Hey Megan, you doin' all right with this?" He was a little concerned at how quiet she was.

"Yeah, Colby, I'm doin' okay – now." _But I can't take many more days like this._

He looked over at her, and his voice was heavy. "I know this had to be hard for you. I know this whole thing was hard for you, and with your DOJ assignment, and then the case... I'm sorry you had to go through everything. If I could've – if there was _any_ way to keep you away from this, Megan, you gotta believe –"

"Colby." She looked at him, saw just how concerned he was. "Please don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong – and I wish you would believe that. I'm just glad that you're here, and you're okay, and nothing else matters right now." She smiled at him. "Okay?"

"Okay." He nodded. "Nothin' else matters."

She smiled again. "Exactly. Now, twenty bucks says Larry wins."

This time Colby smiled. "You're on."

~~~~~9~~~~~

It was late. Everyone else was gone, including Don, and Colby was in the kitchen drying dishes for Alan while Charlie drove Amita back to her apartment. He was just finishing the last bowl, leaning up against the counter, and Alan turned to him.

"So. You've had quite a day, son."

Colby laughed. "Yeah, you could say that. Definitely _wasn't_ what I expected wakin' up this morning."

"Still, I think overall we've made progress today. Just look at tonight."

Colby looked over at him – and nodded. "Yeah. It's not how I would've picked to get here, but –" he shrugged, almost in disbelief. "Things are better. They shouldn't be – but they are." He gave Alan a shy smile. "And a lotta that is thanks to you, Mr. Eppes."

"Nonsense. You all just needed a push in the right direction. Everything else will work itself out."

A smile. "Yeah, I think you're right."

"Of course I'm right. Now, son, you need to get some rest. Unless Don gave you the day off tomorrow?"

"Nah, I'm back at it tomorrow." _Thankfully._ He put the bowl down._ Well, you can't just not sleep, Granger. Who knows? Maybe it'll be better tonight. Nothin' else about this day has been normal._ "But you're right – I should probably go. Tell Charlie I said g'night."

"I will."

"And thanks, again, for everything."

"Don't mention it, Colby. That's what family's for. Now go on – get outta here."

"Yes, sir." Colby smiled as he left. _"That's what family's for." Guess my family must be a little bigger than I thought._


	10. Epilogue: Normal

**EPILOGUE: Normal**

Maybe it was all that food, maybe it was pure exhaustion – or maybe it was something else – but Colby only had one nightmare that night, and he actually fell back asleep afterwards. _Maybe it's 'cause I wasn't lyin' there worryin' about whether or not my team was gonna take me back._

Whatever it was, Colby was grateful. So grateful, in fact, that he overslept his alarm. _Of course – my first official day back and I'm gonna be late…_

But he managed to get out the door with five minutes to spare. _Okay, so maybe not late. But no coffee – and if there's any traffic at all I __**will**__ be late._

Pulling onto the highway, he glanced in his rearview mirror and sighed. About three cars back was a gray sedan he was pretty sure was tailing him. _It had to be today – really? I do __**not**__ wanna deal with some nutjob following me to work. Not today._ He thought about calling Don, then decided that was a bad idea. _I'll just handle it._ He suddenly slid over two lanes and took the exit. It was an occupational hazard – always having multiple routes planned. Thankfully, the gray sedan didn't reappear.

He pulled into the FBI parking garage in record time. _Still two minutes to go,_ he thought grimly, and then was suddenly distracted by the sight of David – _leaning up against a gray sedan?_ – obviously waiting for him. He parked, and sat there frowning for a moment. _Why would David follow me? What, is he afraid I'll have another "incident" and crash?_ Someone knocked on the window, and he looked up. _David._

"You comin' out, Colb?" David's voice was muffled through the car door.

"Yeah," Colby muttered, and pushed the door open. "You followin' me, David?"

"Yeah, man –" David grinned. "It was the only way to make sure we got here at the same time. But seriously, cuttin' it a little close this morning, huh Colby?"

"Overslept."

David blinked. _Really? Not sure if I should believe that or not..._

"So why exactly did we need to get here at the same time? Somethin' goin' on I should know about?"

David smiled again. "You'll see."

"Somehow I'm not sure I'm gonna like this."

David grabbed his arm. "Come on, man, we're gonna be late."

_Gonna be? We're __**already**__ late, David. And you followed me to work. Not exactly how I was hoping this day was gonna start._ But he let himself be dragged along, out of the parking garage and into the main lobby.

"Colby – David – hey!"

Colby turned to find Don, Liz, and Megan all headed towards them.

"What, did you take the scenic route or something, Colb?" Don slapped him on the back. "Ya know, bein' late to work your first day back isn't the best impression to make..." But he was grinning.

"Yeah, Granger," Liz added. "Now you're gonna make us all late."

Megan just smiled at him.

Colby narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You planned this." It wasn't a question.

"Yup." David laughed. "You didn't think I followed you in this morning just for fun, did you?"

"No –" But Colby didn't really want to tell them what he _had_ thought, so he shut his mouth.

"Come on, guys, enough standin' around." Don started waving them towards the elevator.

"Says the boss," Liz teased.

Colby found himself next to Megan as they walked. She smiled over at him. "You didn't _really_ think we were gonna let you just walk in all by yourself this morning, did you?"

"Honestly? I didn't think anything about it. I was just tryin' not to be late." He shook his head. "You guys didn't need to do this. I woulda been fine."

"Yeah, well, this is just as much for us as it is for you, Colby. It's a new start. All the pieces put back together."

They were getting in the elevator now, and Colby repressed a slight shudder. _Okay, so maybe havin' the whole team here wasn't such a bad idea._

Suddenly Don's cell phone rang. "Eppes." He listened for a moment. "Yeah, okay, be there in ten." Then he snapped the phone shut.

They were all looking at him.

"Let's go guys – get this elevator turned around. We got a case."

Colby smiled. Everything felt... _just like normal._

* * *

END


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